Bethany's Baby Babblings

Monkey had her first go on a swing this week! The one at my local park is really big for a baby swing so I daren't let her actually swing. Because if I did she definitely would have face planted into the basket thing. Which is funny hypothetically but not in reality. We were joined by Auntie Rachel and Auntie Kaleigh's little lass (Auntie Kaleigh had to work, booooooo) It was a lovely day. Look at her face 😍😍😍😍😍😍😍 Look at her big toes. They stick out at odd angles. Her dad's toes do exactly the same. I didn't know you could inherit toe habits 😂

is it poor taste to make STI jokes in a blog about my sprog? Yes? Ah well, it made me laugh. Probably because wiggles had me up at 3 and then 6 so I've got a bit dippy. Anyway when I say clap I clearly mean that she has got the hang of clapping her hands! Weirdly she's been clapping her feet for a few months but that was just random flailing leg movements. I hope she doesn't feel like we're treating her like some kind of show dog. I suppose having a baby is kinda like having a puppy. I have said that wiggles is half puppy half spider monkey. I'm now singing spider pig to myself. I need to go back to bed. I've cracked hahahaha.

I've put teeeeeef as my title because I have a slight speech impediment. I can't say my "ths" (which makes having the name beTHany a reet bloody laugh 😒😂) But yeah, monkey has two little teeth, here she is proudly showing them off. I have to pull a kissy face with big eyes to get a smile from her. She's loving life because she's just had some carrot puffs. The little buggers stain EVERYTHING. not even vanish (well whatever Lidl calls their vanish) (this blog should be sponsored by Lidl haha) shifts it. Luckily it came off her face bit only after using wet wipes, a special top to toe wipe and a bath. I wonder if there's some magic way to remove orange baby food stains? Suggestions welcome.

Monkey is back to her normal happy little self after five days of having a bubbly tummy (and that's putting it very politely haha) See even her crazy smile is back. Highlights of our eight month: • making it to Bradford and back on the bus two days in a row and living to tell the tale • the cutting of tooth number two • crawling has been mastered and monkey zips about like she's frigging usian bolt • squidge has started to screw up her face and flap her arms whenever she gets excited AND I AM LIVING FOR IT • I went to go see steps with my bestie (not baby related at all but I needed to share that with you all, it was fecking amazing! It was cheesy and camp and fabulous and glittery!)

We're experiencing our first illness. We are feeling very sorry for ourselves. I am so used to a joyful, giddy, smiley baby. It's breaking my heart to see such sadness in her eyes. Monkey really doesn't know what to do with herself. We're surviving on sips of water, YouTube videos of Elmo and lots of naps.

Reet so I reckon I may have a slight obsession with nearly new sales. Although this time I managed to spend less than £25! I got... • a Tigger door bouncer because squidge loves  the one at my mum and dad's • a ladybird Trunki because it's dead cute and we'll get round to taking wiggles on a plane eventually • some 1.0 tog sleeping bags because it's still bloody hot! Considering the Trunki alone is worth £40 new then I reckon that I've done alreet to get the lot for £22! Banging.

Me and my panto mother (who also has been a guest blogger -  see here ) took our sprogs to a baby rave AND IT WAS BLOODY ACE. And free. You know me, love mysen a bargain. There was pretty lights, flower garlands, pom poms, dancing, routines, bubbles, a parachute and foam!!!!! We were all knackered at the end of the session. Monkey had to have a breather, sit down and hit the sippy cup. And then she conked out for two hours. Note to self: have a baby rave if wiggles is resisting sleep! It was ran by  Boomchikkaboom  as part of Bradford Literature Festival and I will be definitely keeping an eye out for any other events they do.

I've lost track of what I've already told you about so sorry if I end up repeating owt (owt = anything to you non-yorkshire folk) SHES FINALLY CUT A CHUFFING TOOTH! after months of dribbling and chomping and random mood swings the fecker has finally cut. one down, a gazillion to go. SHE'S IN HER OWN ROOM! and the little snotbag (who I obviously love to bits) sleeps better in there than she ever did in our bloody room. she even sleeps through the night about 40% of the time. SHE CAN STAND HERSELF UP (WITH SUPPORT!) which is great, yay milestones! but it means that i spend all my day as a human climbing frame. and it makes bedtime more difficult as she can stand up in her cot but can't get back down again. I HAVEN'T LEARNT TO NOT WEAR BLACK PANTS monkey has wiped porridge, melted frozen banana lolly and carrot puff mush all over them. soz about my feet. and the mess. actually not the mess, I won't apologise for that cos that's just life.