Bethany's Baby Babblings

Bit of background - I started tap dancing in April 2014 at my local community centre. My mate Rachel (of Auntie Rachel fame) came with me. We were soon christened the "Baby Tappers" because we were the only ones under 30 odd who were also proper shit. We do yearly tapathons for charity. It's bloody brilliant. So after nine months leave, I returned. Here are my babblings; • I was really scared about my lady parts falling out with all the jigging about we do (luckily it stayed up where it belongs) • I severely overestimated the strength of my pelvic floor. If I hadn't have weed before I definitely would have fully pissed myself. • There's a plant growing through the roof. We have lovingly named her Ivy • It was the most exercise I've done since my sprog was conceived • The ladies complimented me on my figure (obviously not important but still nice!) • I bloody missed it. Dancing makes me so happy. I don't care that I look like an electrocuted sp...

Then: I had plastic shot glasses in my cupboard for prinks (pre-drinks for those who aren't fluent in wanker) Now: I use said shot glasses for all the medication I have to take because CHILDBIRTH IS HORRIFIC AND THE HORRORS TO YOUR BODY CONTINUE FOR WEEKS AFTERWARDS AND NO-ONE PREPARES YOU FOR IT. no-one. Then: This time last year I was vomming up McDonalds after a pantomime night out to Camel (cheap drinks and cheesy music makes a happy Bethany) Now: I had a quiet night in, went to bed at 10 but not before getting thrown up on by my child on to my new MC hammer pants Then: I slept on public transport, through alarms, sat upright, mid conversation, etc. Anytime, anywhere, I could always have a kip. Now: If my child doesn't make a sound for 10 seconds I snap wide awake convinced that she has stopped breathing OR I'm just laid there with my eyes shut anticipating her next move (and I am always wrong) Then: I took sneezing, coughing, laughing and generally moving f...