Bethany's Baby Babblings

if my blog title didn't make you instantly burst into the Bee Gees then I request that you politely leave and go learn the lyrics to staying alive. Anyway.... Before I became a mum, my reasoning for not being ready to be a parent was my inability to keep a plant alive. I have been a parent for nearly nine months and I still cannot keep a plant alive. I'm not sure what to make of this.

is it poor taste to make STI jokes in a blog about my sprog? Yes? Ah well, it made me laugh. Probably because wiggles had me up at 3 and then 6 so I've got a bit dippy. Anyway when I say clap I clearly mean that she has got the hang of clapping her hands! Weirdly she's been clapping her feet for a few months but that was just random flailing leg movements. I hope she doesn't feel like we're treating her like some kind of show dog. I suppose having a baby is kinda like having a puppy. I have said that wiggles is half puppy half spider monkey. I'm now singing spider pig to myself. I need to go back to bed. I've cracked hahahaha.

Me and my panto mother (who also has been a guest blogger -  see here ) took our sprogs to a baby rave AND IT WAS BLOODY ACE. And free. You know me, love mysen a bargain. There was pretty lights, flower garlands, pom poms, dancing, routines, bubbles, a parachute and foam!!!!! We were all knackered at the end of the session. Monkey had to have a breather, sit down and hit the sippy cup. And then she conked out for two hours. Note to self: have a baby rave if wiggles is resisting sleep! It was ran by  Boomchikkaboom  as part of Bradford Literature Festival and I will be definitely keeping an eye out for any other events they do.

She's still live and kicking. Like really kicking, she doesn't half boot me when I change her nappy. Ungrateful grotbag. (kidding) (mostly) I found out roundabout this time last year that I was preggers. Dale made me pee on the stick 3 times before he believed me. A year on and my little monkey has made it through a third of a year, wooho! Highlights of our forth month • chunk had her first trip to wetherspoons cos she's a classy bird like her mother • me and dale got her weighed and she's now 16lb! it makes carting her about an olympic sport but my arms should get proper toned (the same can't be said for my tummy, thighs and arse unfortunately) • she actually smiled when having her 16 week injections. we may have a future junkie on our hands. she already looks like a crack addict when we give her teething powder.  • i actually managed to sing my child to sleep! whether she did it because she found it soothing or just to shut me up I don't know B...

monkey got me up at 6.10am and had vomited on me by 7am. However she also fell asleep in my arms and we had a two hour cuddle. So I forgave her. Just about. We spent the day with both sides of the family and it was lovely. The Top 3 Things That Happened: • squidge got me disney DVDs for my present (I'm now up to 27/55 animated features, wahey!) • we gave wiggles a bath and the amount of dirt and fluff in the bath water was well impressive • my grandma put a tea towel over her face and sung the "Streets of Cairo" tune (video below, it's a masterpiece)

We went to visit great-grandma wilkinson today. Wiggles was in a lovely mood and enjoyed cuddles and songs with her (she's been going through a phase of hating women and being a reet tart with the men) Here are some of the songs that daughter, mum, grandma and great-grandma sung; "She is a funny un She's got a face like a pickled onion A nose like a squashed tomato And eyes like two peas!" "Ha ha ha, he he he Baby Ellis up a rhubarb tree!" ...we're expecting a call from an agent to offer us a recording contract anyday now

Sooooooo I'm slowly getting used to being alone with my baby while Dale is at work. I'm no longer in a state of total panic and I'm not counting down the hours till Dale gets home. I'm still unsure, wobbly and a bit lost but it's going in the right direction so yay :) To pass the time I've been introducing my little chunk to Disney films (it's never too early to start inflicting your own interests and hobbies onto your children!) So far her favourites are Moana, Fantasia and Aladdin. When I say favourites, I mean films that she actually pays attention to for a few minutes at a time. I am aware that she isn't really capable of film preferences at eight weeks old. I am also very glad she isn't old enough to tell me to stop singing along to A Whole New World and such Disney bangers.

I really enjoy singing to my child. I enjoyed singing randomly before she arrived. It's my thing. Much to everyone's chagrin. Wahey that rhymed, I'm practically Stormzy (I think? I have no idea about modern music. I am 25 going on 76.) Anyway I digress. I've been singing to my baby and have built up quite the repertoire of songs with the wrong bloody lyrics. I am blaming baby brain. My biggest error is the wheels on the bus which I then merged with Old McDonald so this poor bus driver now has a bus full of farm animals. There's been loads more but I cannot for the life of me remember any of them. I did manage to sing the entirety Is This The Way To Amarillo to her this morning though. Told you I was 25 going on 76.