Bethany's Baby Babblings

monkey got me up at 6.10am and had vomited on me by 7am. However she also fell asleep in my arms and we had a two hour cuddle. So I forgave her. Just about. We spent the day with both sides of the family and it was lovely. The Top 3 Things That Happened: • squidge got me disney DVDs for my present (I'm now up to 27/55 animated features, wahey!) • we gave wiggles a bath and the amount of dirt and fluff in the bath water was well impressive • my grandma put a tea towel over her face and sung the "Streets of Cairo" tune (video below, it's a masterpiece)

Wahey, me and Dale have managed to keep our daughter alive for another month! 2 down, 2747428383738 to go! Highlights of our second month • smiles! so many smiles. and they're not windy ones. they are genuine smiles and they are beautiful... • ...which made being sloppy pooed on much more bearable. luckily it was only my index finger (i was applying sudacrem) • her first trip on a train was a success! I was terrified about her kicking off and being stuck but I needn't had worried because she just slept • she met all my colleagues and more importantly she didn't threw up on my colleagues • we all attended our NCT reunion (ante natal classes) and managed to successfully participate in a group photo. we won't focus on the pile of drool she left behind on the organisers play mat...

I've discovered that part of being on maternity leave is the daytime telly. And part of the daytime telly is the crap adverts. Mine and Dale's personal favourite is Vagisan Moist Cream. Vagisan. Moist. Cream.  I know right, how vomit inducing. Almost as vomit inducing as whatever made my child projectile vomit all over me this morning.  It looked like the rice pudding I had for my tea (yes I had rice pudding for tea and yes it was delicious) 

Then: I had plastic shot glasses in my cupboard for prinks (pre-drinks for those who aren't fluent in wanker) Now: I use said shot glasses for all the medication I have to take because CHILDBIRTH IS HORRIFIC AND THE HORRORS TO YOUR BODY CONTINUE FOR WEEKS AFTERWARDS AND NO-ONE PREPARES YOU FOR IT. no-one. Then: This time last year I was vomming up McDonalds after a pantomime night out to Camel (cheap drinks and cheesy music makes a happy Bethany) Now: I had a quiet night in, went to bed at 10 but not before getting thrown up on by my child on to my new MC hammer pants Then: I slept on public transport, through alarms, sat upright, mid conversation, etc. Anytime, anywhere, I could always have a kip. Now: If my child doesn't make a sound for 10 seconds I snap wide awake convinced that she has stopped breathing OR I'm just laid there with my eyes shut anticipating her next move (and I am always wrong) Then: I took sneezing, coughing, laughing and generally moving f...