Bethany's Baby Babblings

I haven't really got the content for a coherent themed post. So here's a list of stuff • she can say dada! it's so unbelievably cute and amazing. she just needs to learn to just say it to her dad. because she just says to everything and everyone. which makes me look like a reet tart • when she's tired she does this really giddy excited breathing and it results in a snort. it is bloody hilarious, little piggy 🐷 • she blagged herself some free toast at a nursery visit. My baby is a hustler 😎 • monkey can wave. only she does it on her own terms and not when you want her to say ey up or ta-ra (hello and goodbye respectively in yorkshire) and here is a photo of her looking like a nutter.

SQUUDGE SLEPT THROUGH! SHE ONLY WENT AND BLOODY SLEPT THROUGH!!!! FROM 11.45PM TO 6.50AM!!! I SUPPOSE IT WAS KIND OF CHEATING BECAUSE SHE SLEPT IN OUR BED BUT SCREW THAT, SHE BLOODY SLEPT THROUGH!!!!!! I AM PREMATURELY CELEBRATING BECAUSE ITS LIKELY TO BE A FLUKE BUT SOD IT, LETS CELEBRATE EVERYTHING IN LIFE!!! hehe, I'm just a bit excited about her sleeping through :) Here are a few other things that have occurred recently; • I knelt in a puddle of my daughter's wee (and I wasn't even that arsed tbh) • Squidge keeps having coughing fits which makes her shart • Monkey chops keeps pulling this hilarious old man face

I question why I agreed to have a kid when they're kinda annoying, deprive you of sleep, take over your life and thank you by expelling various bodily fluids on you. But then she does stuff like this and I'm like awwwh that's why, you're just lovely and I love you. (this video was taken at half 6 in the morning - I don't know anyone who is this happy at half 6 in the morning. Weirdo child)

monkey got me up at 6.10am and had vomited on me by 7am. However she also fell asleep in my arms and we had a two hour cuddle. So I forgave her. Just about. We spent the day with both sides of the family and it was lovely. The Top 3 Things That Happened: • squidge got me disney DVDs for my present (I'm now up to 27/55 animated features, wahey!) • we gave wiggles a bath and the amount of dirt and fluff in the bath water was well impressive • my grandma put a tea towel over her face and sung the "Streets of Cairo" tune (video below, it's a masterpiece)

why does my monkey only poo for me and not her dad? why does her poo smell like cooked mince?  why does the poo have different colours and consistencies if all she has is milk? why does wiggles like having pooing sessions at 2/3 in the morning?  why is poo the topic of 50% of conversations now that me and dale have become parents? 

wiggles has had some reet mood swings this week due to teething and sharing genes with me. however when we have moments like this it reduces my urge to donate her to the orphanage when she kicks off. Her smile just melts my heart and her burps make me one proud mama. She is ignoring the societal pressures of behaving like a "lady" - go girl! Ooo, this video features the vocal talents of Auntie Rachel (not auntie by blood, just doing the northern thing of making all mummy's friends an auntie or uncle. although I consider Rachel my other sister so the auntie title is rightly deserved)

I'm at the stage in parenting where every single thing that my child does is fascinating and/or hilarious. For example, during a feed she did a burp except her mouth was full of drool so it produced a massive spit bubble. And the spit bubble remained there for ages because she was just sat there accepting the spit bubble in her mouth and I couldn't do owt for laughing. (how many times do I need to say spit bubble?) (three) And then there's the time when she simultaneously coughed and farted at the same. I also love how sneezes are a full body experience for babies. Just after I filmed her sneeze I had the BIGGEST urge to send it to my friends and family.  But I resisted because I don't want to be a baby bore.  So I'm inflicting it on whoever is reading this blog.  Which is probably just my mum, hello mum :)

Being a parent involves finding your child's bodily functions absolutely fascinating and taking photos to show people. And these said people actually do not give a shit. Like my husband dislodged this bogie from our child's nose and saved it to show people. Imagine if he did that with his own bogies, I'd be filing for divorce (saying that he did once keep a nose hair he pulled out and I wasn't even phased. In fact I was impressed because it was SO LONG!) Enough about my husband's nose hairs; be grateful readers that I haven't taken photos of my daughter's nappies. Although weirdly she always poos out in the open rather than in her nappy. Or maybe that isn't weird. I don't know.