Bethany's Baby Babblings

I have this super lame title because this is the 50th post! I am well impressed that I've managed to keep it up for this long. It's also titled this because I watch way too much Sesame Street and they have the letter of the day. Anyway, my little monkey has been a reet social butterfly recently. She deffo didn't get that from her parents. Auntie Rachel kindly chauffeured us to the play gym. Squidge liked staring at the boys in the walker best. Mummy and Auntie Rachel liked the fish fingers butties. (we're not sure how her hair got like that but can we all agree that's it's bloody hilarious!) Then we visited Auntie Kaleigh and her little lass who loves babies so obviously they're besties. She will definitely be taking squidge on her first night out in 16 years time.  Then my panto mother (I believe that everyone should have a panto mother) popped by with her sprog who is so diddy and cute and makes my child look like a reet chunk (explai...

... I am addicted to the taste of my laxative medicine (don't ask why I'm on this, you don't want to know because, did I mention, childbirth is HORRIFIC) ... baby farts are bloody hilarious ... there's nowt nicer than your child falling asleep on your tummy... until you need a wee/want to change the TV channel/are gasping for a brew ... I am getting far too used to wiping my daughters sick/bogies/etc on to my clothes (why is the muslin square* nowhere to be found when you need it?!) * my mother in law amusingly called these 'Muslim towels' once so obviously we know constantly take the piss out of her for it and call them prayer squares.

Then: I had plastic shot glasses in my cupboard for prinks (pre-drinks for those who aren't fluent in wanker) Now: I use said shot glasses for all the medication I have to take because CHILDBIRTH IS HORRIFIC AND THE HORRORS TO YOUR BODY CONTINUE FOR WEEKS AFTERWARDS AND NO-ONE PREPARES YOU FOR IT. no-one. Then: This time last year I was vomming up McDonalds after a pantomime night out to Camel (cheap drinks and cheesy music makes a happy Bethany) Now: I had a quiet night in, went to bed at 10 but not before getting thrown up on by my child on to my new MC hammer pants Then: I slept on public transport, through alarms, sat upright, mid conversation, etc. Anytime, anywhere, I could always have a kip. Now: If my child doesn't make a sound for 10 seconds I snap wide awake convinced that she has stopped breathing OR I'm just laid there with my eyes shut anticipating her next move (and I am always wrong) Then: I took sneezing, coughing, laughing and generally moving f...

First of all, I am so bloody jealous of women who loved labour. I won't go into the gory details of mine but I will stay that I am fricking traumatised. But it's worth it for this amazing little jellybean ❤️ Completely and utterly in love. And Dale is such a wonderful dad. And he says I'm a wonderful mum. I'll be happy if we're more like the "okay-est" parents as long as we love her to pieces. Which we obv do because LOOK AT HER (disclaimer: we're bias and we know it) Random babblings: • the inventor of gas and air needs an award • why do I get so relieved when seeing a poo in her nappy? • leaky boobs are the devil • thank god for grandparents, me and dale would be sat in a pile of dirty clothes, starving and crazy from sleep deprivation without them