Then vs. Now

Then: I had plastic shot glasses in my cupboard for prinks (pre-drinks for those who aren't fluent in wanker)

Now: I use said shot glasses for all the medication I have to take because CHILDBIRTH IS HORRIFIC AND THE HORRORS TO YOUR BODY CONTINUE FOR WEEKS AFTERWARDS AND NO-ONE PREPARES YOU FOR IT. no-one.

Then: This time last year I was vomming up McDonalds after a pantomime night out to Camel (cheap drinks and cheesy music makes a happy Bethany)

Now: I had a quiet night in, went to bed at 10 but not before getting thrown up on by my child on to my new MC hammer pants

Then: I slept on public transport, through alarms, sat upright, mid conversation, etc. Anytime, anywhere, I could always have a kip.

Now: If my child doesn't make a sound for 10 seconds I snap wide awake convinced that she has stopped breathing OR I'm just laid there with my eyes shut anticipating her next move (and I am always wrong)

Then: I took sneezing, coughing, laughing and generally moving for granted.

Now: My pelvic floor is fucked and every bodily function is a risk and/or surprise.