Bethany's Baby Babblings

guess what? she slept through. in her own bed. it's a bloody miracle. if this isn't a fluke and she carries on being a bloody star then we'll start thinking about popping her in her own room. which I will both love and hate. if you're also a parent, or care for a baby overnight or whatever, you will understand why I'm so excited. Mainly because I am always asked "is she sleeping through" and usually I just snort and pull a stink face. But now I can reply with "YES SHE BLOODY HAS/IS" (an aside: I am obsessed with squidge's smiley face. It's so genuine. Her whole face lights up when she smiles. She is so joyful!)

SQUUDGE SLEPT THROUGH! SHE ONLY WENT AND BLOODY SLEPT THROUGH!!!! FROM 11.45PM TO 6.50AM!!! I SUPPOSE IT WAS KIND OF CHEATING BECAUSE SHE SLEPT IN OUR BED BUT SCREW THAT, SHE BLOODY SLEPT THROUGH!!!!!! I AM PREMATURELY CELEBRATING BECAUSE ITS LIKELY TO BE A FLUKE BUT SOD IT, LETS CELEBRATE EVERYTHING IN LIFE!!! hehe, I'm just a bit excited about her sleeping through :) Here are a few other things that have occurred recently; • I knelt in a puddle of my daughter's wee (and I wasn't even that arsed tbh) • Squidge keeps having coughing fits which makes her shart • Monkey chops keeps pulling this hilarious old man face

It won't come as a surprise to you that it's a surprise to me that wiggles is actually that old. Highlights of our fifth  month • I successfully changed a nappy whilst being horrendously hungover and didn't chob (despite getting poo all over my hand and my child weeing on my foot) • we got bought a bumbo seat (a £10 charity shop bargain may I add!) and it's been a huge hit. Squidge can't sit up yet so it's brill for supporting her. She hasn't mastered how to escape from it yet (as demonstrated above) • WE GOT ON A MOTHER FUDGING TRAIN BY OURSELVES AND IT WAS FINE! on our way back she did a poo so smelly it stunk the train out. haha lol. • I've pushed myself and made plans to leave the house more often with squidge • I actually attempted to get poo stains out of wiggles' clothes rather than just throw them away! I know, impressive right? Even more impressive, IT WORKED! My favourite highlight was having a Thanksgiving service with our fam...

It's reet weird. This week I've been the worst anxiety wise since my rock bottom back in Jan, I pretty much spent all day Wednesday and Thursday crying and worrying. However today I woke up feeling like I've been hit over the head with a confidence stick. Which was great because it meant that me and wiggles could attend our very first rhythm time class, woohoo! Things Monkey Liked: • pretty spinning lights • the multi-coloured parachute • the bouncy song • staring at all the other babies and all the other mums and pretty much ignoring me Things Monkey Didn't Like: • feathers (which makes sense as her dad is scared of feathers. don't ask) • clapping her hands at the end of each activity. rigor mortis set in for some reason and she refused to move her arms Things Mummy Liked: • battling the churning of my stomach and the thoughts saying "it's too much, you can't do this" and dragging my arse there • the cute sticker given for monkey ...

I LEFT THE HOUSE WITH SQUIDGE FOR TWO HOURS AND DID SOME ERRANDS AND GOT THE BUS BACK AND IT WASN'T A DISASTER AND NO-ONE DIED!!! we did it! ecstatic mum and non-plussed daughter.

This week I left the house by myself with my baby for the first time. I only went to the end of the road and back again and then for a sit down in the village green outside my house. Like a half mile round trip all in all. But I survived and so did my baba. I know it doesn't sound much but to me it was such an achievement. My post natal depression has made even the smallest of things for well people, a monumental task which evokes such anxiety for me. It was a sunny morning walk, a bit on the nippy side but nothing a big furry onesie couldn't sort (for my daughter...not myself...pity) and I enjoyed the fresh air. Also right, dog poo has always been annoying. However when you're trekking a pram about it is rage inducing! I was having to do some formula one style swerving to avoid getting shite all my pram.  It's quite weird mentioning poo in a post that isn't my daughter's. Rather refreshing. (Rather refreshing?! I am clearly watching too much Ca...