Bethany's Baby Babblings

I question why I agreed to have a kid when they're kinda annoying, deprive you of sleep, take over your life and thank you by expelling various bodily fluids on you. But then she does stuff like this and I'm like awwwh that's why, you're just lovely and I love you. (this video was taken at half 6 in the morning - I don't know anyone who is this happy at half 6 in the morning. Weirdo child)

This is the face of a parent who was up all night because for some reason scientists haven't invented a cure for teething. The mug is full of extra strong coffee. I wish it was wine. Or gin. Or both. It's proper heartbreaking seeing your kid in pain. She even refused her feeds which was freaky, you know shit is bad when she rejects the milk. Thankfully I had a cracking hubby who helped me out and didn't banish me and monkey from the bedroom (which he could have done cos he had work in the morning) So there was three in the bed last night, which was quite lovely once she'd stopped crying and started sleeping and sleep-farting. Here's to a better night tonight for everyone's sake!

Chunky monkey tried to eat bubbles at her baby sensory class. She then did a shit so big that it was up to her neck. HAPPY FRIDAY EVERYONE 👍 I was tempted to take a photo of her horrendous nappy but I decided against it seeing as I'll always have the vision and smell permanently scarred into my brain!

It's actually quite sad how it took my pregnancy and losing my sister to finally accept and appreciate my body. But hey ho. I've gained stertch marks but I am not bothered in the slightest. In fact they're a shimmery purple colour which is ace because I love purple and things that shimmer! My tummy, thighs and arse aren't as toned as they used to be but I couldn't give a shit. My bit of tummy podge is actually quite useful when carting my sprog about, it's summat for her to rest on. (my arms have actually got better thanks to my daughter being an awesome chunk of a baby - 16 pounds already!) My overall health is pretty good (putting post natal depression and anxiety aside) and it meant I could grow a tiny human inside of me which isn't something that should be taken for granted. It also means I can crack with my work, home and social life with no restrictions which also shouldn't be taken for granted. So I've decided that I will no longer wa...

She's still live and kicking. Like really kicking, she doesn't half boot me when I change her nappy. Ungrateful grotbag. (kidding) (mostly) I found out roundabout this time last year that I was preggers. Dale made me pee on the stick 3 times before he believed me. A year on and my little monkey has made it through a third of a year, wooho! Highlights of our forth month • chunk had her first trip to wetherspoons cos she's a classy bird like her mother • me and dale got her weighed and she's now 16lb! it makes carting her about an olympic sport but my arms should get proper toned (the same can't be said for my tummy, thighs and arse unfortunately) • she actually smiled when having her 16 week injections. we may have a future junkie on our hands. she already looks like a crack addict when we give her teething powder.  • i actually managed to sing my child to sleep! whether she did it because she found it soothing or just to shut me up I don't know B...

monkey got me up at 6.10am and had vomited on me by 7am. However she also fell asleep in my arms and we had a two hour cuddle. So I forgave her. Just about. We spent the day with both sides of the family and it was lovely. The Top 3 Things That Happened: • squidge got me disney DVDs for my present (I'm now up to 27/55 animated features, wahey!) • we gave wiggles a bath and the amount of dirt and fluff in the bath water was well impressive • my grandma put a tea towel over her face and sung the "Streets of Cairo" tune (video below, it's a masterpiece)

It's reet weird. This week I've been the worst anxiety wise since my rock bottom back in Jan, I pretty much spent all day Wednesday and Thursday crying and worrying. However today I woke up feeling like I've been hit over the head with a confidence stick. Which was great because it meant that me and wiggles could attend our very first rhythm time class, woohoo! Things Monkey Liked: • pretty spinning lights • the multi-coloured parachute • the bouncy song • staring at all the other babies and all the other mums and pretty much ignoring me Things Monkey Didn't Like: • feathers (which makes sense as her dad is scared of feathers. don't ask) • clapping her hands at the end of each activity. rigor mortis set in for some reason and she refused to move her arms Things Mummy Liked: • battling the churning of my stomach and the thoughts saying "it's too much, you can't do this" and dragging my arse there • the cute sticker given for monkey ...

We went to visit great-grandma wilkinson today. Wiggles was in a lovely mood and enjoyed cuddles and songs with her (she's been going through a phase of hating women and being a reet tart with the men) Here are some of the songs that daughter, mum, grandma and great-grandma sung; "She is a funny un She's got a face like a pickled onion A nose like a squashed tomato And eyes like two peas!" "Ha ha ha, he he he Baby Ellis up a rhubarb tree!" ...we're expecting a call from an agent to offer us a recording contract anyday now